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Noam Elimelech · Tzetel Katan · Maamar ג From the Torah ofRebbe Elimelech of Lizhenskרבי אלימלך מליז'נסקProfile ›

Eating and Intimacy: The Greater Joy

Eating and marital intimacy bring a person real physical pleasure. R' Elimelech does not ask him to stop feeling it. He asks for something to be said, aloud and in the heart, at the very moment the pleasure begins. What is it, and what keeps it from being empty words?

3While eating and during marital intimacy, too, he should have in mind the readiness of item 1 to give his life for kiddush Hashem. When he begins to feel physical pleasure, he should picture the fire in his mind, and at once say with his mouth and in his heart that he would have more pleasure and joy in fulfilling the mitzvah “I shall be sanctified” by giving his life than in feeling this physical pleasure, which comes from the leprosy of the serpent's skin.1 He should add the proof, in these words: “Even if murderers seized me in the middle of eating or intimacy to inflict harsh tortures on me, I would rejoice in kiddush Hashem more than in this physical pleasure.” But he must take care that he speaks the truth in his heart,2 and that at the moment of the act it is fixed on the tablet of his heart,3 in the innermost depths of the heart, in complete truth. He must not fool himself and become like one who tries to deceive the One above, Heaven forbid.
ג. גַּם בִּשְׁעַת אֲכִילָה וְזִיוּוּג יְכַוֵּין כנ"ל, וּכְשֶׁיַּתְחִיל לְהַרְגִּישׁ תַּעֲנוּג גַּשְׁמִי, יְצַיֵּיר בְּמַחְשַׁבְתּוֹ כנ"ל, וְתֵיכֶף וּמִיָּד יֹאמַר בְּפִיו וּבִלְבָבוֹ שֶׁיּוֹתֵר הָיָה לוֹ תַּעֲנוּג וְשִׂמְחָה בַּעֲשִׂיַּית מִצְוַת שֶׁל וְנִקְדַּשְׁתִּי בְּאוֹפֶן הנ"ל מֵהַרְגָּשַׁת תַּעֲנוּג גַּשְׁמִי הַזֶּה שֶׁהוּא מֵהַצָּרַעַת מַשְׁכָּא דְּחִיָּיא, וְכָךְ יֹאמַר וּרְאָיָה לַדָּבָר שֶׁיּוֹתֵר הָיָה לוֹ תַּעֲנוּג וְשִׂמְחָה בַּעֲשִׂיַּית מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁל וְנִקְדַּשְׁתִּי בְּאוֹפֶן הנ"ל, שֶׁאֲפִילּוּ הָיוּ חוֹטְפִין אוֹתוֹ רוֹצְחִים בְּאֶמְצַע אֲכִילָה וְזִיוּוּג לַעֲשׂוֹת לוֹ הָעִינּוּיִים קָשִׁים, הָיִיתִי מְשַׂמֵּחַ אֶת עַצְמִי עַל קִידּוּשׁ הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרֵךְ יוֹתֵר מִתַּעֲנוּג גַּשְׁמִי הַזֶּה. אַךְ יִזָּהֵר שֶׁיִּהְיֶה דּוֹבֵר בֶּאֱמֶת בִּלְבָבוֹ, וְשֶׁיִּהְיֶה אָז בִּשְׁעַת מַעֲשֶׂה תָּקוּעַ עַל לוּחַ לִבּוֹ בְּתוֹכִיּוּת וּבִפְנִימִיּוּת הַלֵּב בֶּאֱמֶת גָּמוּר, וְלֹא יַשְׁטֶה אֶת עַצְמוֹ לִהְיוֹת כְּגוֹנֵב דַּעַת עֶלְיוֹנָה ח"ו:
  1. The phrase is found in Tzava'as HaRivash (6), a collection of teachings of the Baal Shem Tov and his circle: a person should pay no attention to the desire of his body, “which is the leprosy of the serpent's skin.” The “serpent's skin” (mashcha dechivya) is the Zohar's name for the physical body (Tikkunei Zohar 10b), after Targum Yonasan on Bereishis 3:21: the garments of skin were made from the skin the serpent shed. ↩
  2. The phrase echoes Tehillim 15:2. ↩
  3. The phrase echoes Mishlei 3:3. ↩
In shortAt the moment of bodily pleasure, a person declares, honestly and from the heart, that kiddush Hashem would give him more joy, never fooling himself.
The maamar as a whole

The third practice takes kiddush Hashem into the moments of greatest physical pleasure, eating and marital intimacy. As the pleasure begins, a person pictures the fire of item 1 and declares, with his mouth and in his heart, that the mitzvah “I shall be sanctified” would give him more joy than this pleasure, which comes from the leprosy of the serpent's skin. He adds a proof in his own words: even if murderers seized him in the middle of the act to torture him, he would rejoice in sanctifying Hashem's Name more than in what he now feels. R' Elimelech then sets the condition on which the whole practice rests: the words must be true, fixed in the innermost heart at the moment of the act. A declaration that is not meant is self-deception, an attempt to deceive the One above.

Takeaway

When physical pleasure comes, tell yourself that sanctifying Hashem's Name would bring you greater joy, and make sure your heart means what your mouth says, for R' Elimelech warns that no one can deceive the One above.

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