Noam Elimelech · Tzetel Katan · Maamar ח From the Torah ofRebbe Elimelech of Lizhenskרבי אלימלך מליז'נסקProfile ›

Few Words: Speech Sifted Clean

Much of what people say in a day is not needed, and some of it does harm. R' Elimelech sets a strict rule for speech, borrowing an image from the flour of the Temple's offerings, and adds a saying of Chazal. How few words is enough, and what must they be cleared of?

8He should accustom himself not to begin speaking to anyone except for a great need that he truly must meet. Even what he must say, he should say in very few words, sifted as through thirteen sieves,¹ so that his speech holds no falsehood at all, Heaven forbid, no flattery, no lashon hara or gossip, no shaming of another, and no display of his deeds before people. He should also train himself in the rule Chazal gave: “Teach your tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’”² When people who are not careful about idle talk speak to him, he should do all he can, by every means he can find, to slip away from them. And when he cannot get away from them at all, at least he should keep very, very short whatever he must answer them.

ח. יַרְגִּיל אֶת עַצְמוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יַתְחִיל לְדַבֵּר לְשׁוּם אָדָם זוּלַת לְצוֹרֶךְ גָּדוֹל הַהֶכְרֵחַ לוֹ, וְאַף הַהֶכְרֵחַ יְדַבֵּר בִּדְבָרִים קְצָרִים מְאוֹד מְנוּפֶּה בי"ג נָפָה, שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיֶה בְּדִיבּוּרוֹ שׁוּם שֶׁקֶר ח"ו, וְשׁוּם חֲנוּפָּה, וְשׁוּם לָשׁוֹן הָרַע וּרְכִילוּת, וְשׁוּם הַלְבָּנַת פָּנִים, וְלֹא שׁוּם הַרְאוֹת מַעֲשָׂיו לִבְנֵי אָדָם. וְיַרְגִּיל אֶת עַצְמוֹ בִּכְלַל שֶׁאָמְרוּ חז"ל לְמוֹד לְשׁוֹנְךָ לוֹמַר אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ. כְּשֶׁמְּדַבְּרִין אֵלָיו בְּנֵי אָדָם אֲשֶׁר אֵין נִזְהָרִים מִלְּדַבֵּר דְּבָרִים בְּטֵלִים, יַשְׁמִיט אֶת עַצְמוֹ מֵהֶם בְּכָל כֹּחוֹ וּבְכָל מִינֵי תַּחְבּוּלוֹת, וּכְשֶׁלֹּא אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לְהִשָּׁמֵט מֵהֶם בְּשׁוּם אוֹפֶן, עַל כָּל פָּנִים יְקַצֵּר מְאוֹד מְאוֹד בָּזֶה שֶׁמּוּכְרָח לְהָשִׁיב לָהֶם:

Editor's note: The image is from the Mishnah, which says the flour of the Omer offering was sifted through thirteen sieves (Menachos 76b). It seems R' Elimelech means speech sifted as finely as that flour. ↩
Berachos 4a. ↩

In shortSpeech is kept to real need, in few words sifted clean of falsehood, flattery, gossip, shaming and display, and idle talkers are avoided or answered briefly.

The maamar as a whole

The eighth practice governs speech. A person should not begin speaking to anyone except for a real need, and even then in very few words, sifted, in his words, “through thirteen sieves,” the Mishnah's measure for the Omer flour. R' Elimelech names what the sieve must catch: falsehood, flattery, lashon hara and gossip, shaming another, and any display of one's own deeds. He adds Chazal's rule, “Teach your tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’” Then he turns to the hardest case, people careless about idle talk: slip away from them by every means, and when that fails, answer as briefly as possible. Item 9 asks a person to take on this safeguard from the moment he wakes.

Takeaway

Before you speak, ask whether the words are truly needed, and then keep them few, for R' Elimelech wants speech sifted so fine that no falsehood, flattery or gossip can pass through.

Learn this in the merit of Rebbe Elimelech of Lizhensk. His yahrzeit and life ›

All of Noam Elimelech

Sources he cites