“From My Flesh I See God”: Humble Knowledge

1aThe Midrash on “Hashem appeared to him” [Bereishis 18:1] (Bereishis Rabbah 48:2)¹ cites the verse “After my skin is thus cut off, from my flesh I see God” [Iyov 19:26]. Avraham said, “Had I not done this, how would the Holy One, blessed be He, have revealed Himself to me?” That is, through painful suffering, Heaven save us, that comes upon a person, he merits a truly settled mind and complete teshuvah. When he reflects on his bitter state and his own lowliness, he merits to see the greatness and exaltedness of the Creator. As the verse says, “For Hashem is exalted, and the lowly will see” (Tehillim 138:6): the lowly one sees Hashem's exaltedness. And when he sees Hashem's exaltedness, he sees and knows all the more how low he is, and how far he has drifted from “the light of the King's face” [Mishlei 16:15]. He takes all this to heart and cries out from the depths of his heart to Hashem, “the Rock of his heart and his portion” [Tehillim 73:26]: “How long will my enemy be exalted over me?” [Tehillim 13:3]. He is filled with bitterness and regret for having rebelled against Hashem's will, and so he merits complete teshuvah.

1bThat is why Chazal placed the blessing “You graciously give man knowledge” before the blessing “Bring us back” (Megillah 17b). Through true knowledge, a person perceives the darkness of his heart and sees that he must still return for the sin he committed. In his great righteousness and holy humility, Avraham Avinu thought that all his perceptions and Divine revelations, his beholding “the pleasantness of Hashem” [Tehillim 27:4] and the precious light of the King's face, came only through the refinement brought by the suffering and pain of the mitzvah of milah, and not because his deeds were worthy. That is “from my flesh I see God,” and that is what the Midrash means: “Had I not done this, how would the Holy One, blessed be He, have revealed Himself to me?”

2aThis is also what the Midrash says there: Avraham said, “After I circumcised myself, many converts came to attach themselves to this covenant.” Meaning: in truth, on my own account, I am like any other convert. They too, when they convert and keep the mitzvah of milah, will merit this great level of beholding the precious light of the King's face. By then Avraham's two kidneys were like two rabbis, welling up and teaching him Torah and wisdom, as it says in Bereishis Rabbah (61:1), and on his own he weighed and searched out the way of Hashem. Even so, in his holy humility, Avraham Avinu considered himself essentially in the same category as the other converts who came to join this covenant. This is what the Kabbalists write on the verse “Hashem appeared to him in the plains of Mamre” [Bereishis 18:1]: Mamre has the numerical value of 281. The holy Maggid of Kozhnitz, zt"l, wrote in his Avodas Yisrael that 281 is the value of pe'er, “glory.” But in a simple way, it seems to be the letters of efer, “ashes.” This fits what we said: by the power of his righteousness and holiness, Avraham Avinu said, “I am dust and ashes” [Bereishis 18:27]. The Holy One, blessed be He, revealed Himself to me only “from my flesh”: through the pain of the holy flesh of the covenant I merited a settled mind. In truth I am like any other convert, as we said.

2b“And he (hu) was sitting” [Bereishis 18:1]. Hu, “he,” hints at the secrets of the Torah, lofty and exalted secrets, as the holy Zohar explains on the verse “The Levi, he (hu), shall serve” [Bamidbar 18:23]. “Sitting” means, as the holy books write, that he merited a settled mind. As we wrote, through his suffering he merited a settled mind and great, lofty perceptions. “At the entrance of the tent”: ohel, “tent,” is related to light, as Rashi writes (Shabbos 88)² on “Moshe would take the tent” [Shemos 33:7]: it is like “when His lamp shone (behilo) over my head” [Iyov 29:3] and “his sneezes flash (tahel) light” (Iyov 41:10). In the holiness of his humility, Avraham Avinu thought that he was still only at the entrance of the tent. He had not yet entered the gate of holiness itself, the inner entrance. So he stood and pleaded, “Master of the world, save me, please, and open an entrance for me to come into Your sanctuary within.”

3aThis is what the Midrash says there: “‘The entrance’: You opened a good entrance for those who pass by and those who return. You opened a good entrance for converts.” Tov, “good,” is da'as, knowledge. As is known, the Divine Name associated with da'as has the numerical value of tov [seventeen]. It comes from the first letters of “es haShamayim v'es haAretz,” “the heavens and the earth” [Bereishis 1:1], and it is “the King's signet ring, with which heaven and earth are sealed.” Da'as means connection, as is known. Hashem shone the great da'as upon Avraham Avinu, so that he would have the power to give to others, to bring light into darkness, and to teach people knowledge, so that they would not tell themselves, Heaven forbid, that it is hopeless. For Hashem pardons and forgives everyone, and opens a gate for those who knock in teshuvah. This fits the Midrash well: “a good entrance,” entrances of knowledge, “You opened for those who pass by (ovrim),” those who transgress (ovrei) Hashem's will, “and those who return (shavim).” They should know that there is still hope for their souls, that they can return to Hashem and He will have mercy on them [Yeshayahu 55:7], and that they can become people who do His will. For Hashem in His great mercy does not reject the prayer of any creature.

3b“You opened a good entrance for converts”: many converted and removed the flesh of their foreskin in order to rise to great and lofty levels like Avraham Avinu. But “the ways of Hashem are straight; the righteous walk in them, and transgressors stumble in them” [Hoshea 14:10]. For Avraham Avinu, the essential longing and desire of his soul, all his will from the day he was born, was to recognize his Creator and serve Him. His days of birth are counted from the day he recognized his Creator, and the earlier days fell away. As Bereishis Rabbah [39] says on “the dew of your youth” [Tehillim 110:3]: “Just as dew blossoms away …” Those years went and flew away from him as if they did not exist. This is what the Midrash says (Bereishis Rabbah 39:1) on “Hashem said to Avram: Go forth” [Bereishis 12:1]. It cites the verse “Forget your people and your father's house, and the King will desire your beauty” [Tehillim 45:11–12]. Avraham's essential days were counted from the time “the King desired his beauty.”

3cFor the holy Avos are a chariot for Hashem's Throne of Glory. Hashem satisfied Avraham's soul's hunger and quenched his thirst. This is the verse “For He has satisfied the longing soul, and filled the hungry soul with good” [Tehillim 107:9]. Nefesh, “soul,” here means will, as in “if it is your will (nafshechem)” [Bereishis 23:8]. In His great kindness and goodness, Hashem grants good desires to the soul that longs to attain and know the knowledge of Hashem. “The hungry soul” is the soul that sins and becomes guilty, which is “hungry, poor and does not know” where to turn. Even so, Hashem in His great mercy and mighty kindness, so that no outcast of Israel will be lost, Heaven forbid [cf. Shmuel II 14:14], “fills it with good,” tov. He grants it knowledge, so that it will know truly that there is still healing and a cure for the illnesses of the soul, and that it can return to Hashem and He will heal it.

4aThis is also what the Midrash says (Bereishis Rabbah 48:8)³: “Were it not for you, I would not have created heaven and earth, as it says, ‘He spreads them out like a tent (ohel)’ [Yeshayahu 40:22].” This is like the verse “Who made the heavens with understanding (tevunah)” [Tehillim 136:5]: for the sake of understanding. A person should reflect on Hashem's works and wondrous creations, that “all these My hand has made” [Yeshayahu 66:2], and see the Creator's exaltedness, which is beyond all measure. When he thinks about these things, he will know that he is a lowly, dark creature: “What is man that You should remember him?” [Tehillim 8:5]. Avraham Avinu passed this knowledge on to his descendants at the end of days, so that they would reflect on the Creator's greatness and on His compassion, which has no end or limit.

4bAs the verse says, “A light shines in the darkness for the upright” [Tehillim 112:4]. Avraham Avinu is called “light” [Bereishis Rabbah 2], and “a light shines in the darkness” is da'as. By its light one sees light to walk in Hashem's way, and like the morning light, light shines for him. The opposite is one for whom the light of da'as has grown dark. Of him it says, “The fool walks in darkness” [Koheles 2:14]. Avraham Avinu, the great light, shone light into the hearts of the upright, so that they would have the means to revive their wretched, crushed souls. This is what Chazal say (Bereishis Rabbah 12:9): “‘These are the generations of the heavens and the earth when they were created (behibar'am)’ [Bereishis 2:4]: be'Avraham, in the merit of Avraham.” That is, in his merit, because he shone da'as in a time of darkness, so that people would reflect on “Who created these” [Yeshayahu 40:26]. That is “Were it not for you, I would not have created heaven and earth”: were it not for the knowledge through which a person reflects on the true purpose of creating heaven and earth, I would not have created them. And that is why the Midrash cites “He spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.” Ohel, “tent,” means light, as Rashi says, cited above. As we wrote, Avraham lit up the darkness in the hearts of the holy congregation with the light of true knowledge.

5aThe Midrash continues: “Were it not for you, I would not have created the sun, as it says, ‘For the sun He set a tent (ohel) in them’ [Tehillim 19:5]. Were it not for you, I would not have created the moon, as it says, ‘Even the moon does not shine (ya'ahil)’ [Iyov 25:5].” This is like the verse “Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night declares knowledge” [Tehillim 19:3]. “Day” is the aspect of da'as. The verse hints at two kinds of people. To those whom Hashem has graced with the light of knowledge, it says “pour forth speech.” A holy duty rests on us to thank, praise and extol Hashem, the Good One, with the light of knowledge He has graced us with. As it says, “Know the God of your father, and serve Him” [Divrei HaYamim I 28:9]: know that Hashem has graced you with knowledge in order to serve Him and give Him satisfaction.

5b“Night to night” hints at simple people for whom the light of knowledge has grown dark because of their many corrupt deeds, who have no glow, like night. “Declares knowledge”: “each man helps his fellow, and says to his brother, ‘Be strong’” [Yeshayahu 41:6] and take courage. His light will yet shine on us, and His glory will be seen upon us [cf. Yeshayahu 60:2]. He will yet open a “good entrance” for us. We will hope and wait “until Hashem looks down and sees” [Eichah 3:50], declares knowledge to us and becomes our everlasting light [cf. Yeshayahu 60:19]. Then we will know that there is still hope for our souls, for “He will not forsake His devoted ones” [Tehillim 37:28], and “Hashem preserves the faithful” [Tehillim 31:24]. Avraham Avinu shone knowledge and faith upon his children, so that they would have the means to revive their souls in a time of darkness. They would know and believe that even in darkness a light glimmers, like the moon and stars that shine at night. That is what the Midrash means by “Were it not for you,” meaning were it not for knowledge, “I would not have created the sun and the moon.”

6The Midrash continues: “R' Levi said: Avraham sits at the entrance of Gehinnom and does not let any circumcised Jew go down into it. And those who sinned too much, what does he do with them?” and so on. As is known, Avraham Avinu was the first of the believers, as it says, “And he believed in Hashem” [Bereishis 15:6]. In him, for the first time among created beings, faith was found. Now suppose “a soul sins and commits a trespass against Hashem” [Vayikra 5:21], sinning so badly that he blemished, Heaven forbid, the holy covenant, the attribute of Yesod. As is known, through that bitter sin he has drifted far from the light of the King's face, for the holy books teach that Yesod is the attribute of connection, the attribute of “the living God.” Even so, if it was not in rebellion and betrayal, Heaven forbid, like one who tries to undo his circumcision and despises the holy sign, then there is hope. He takes to heart how much harm his bitter sin caused, and that he now has no escape or refuge. But he trusts in Hashem and His salvation, and believes that Hashem pardons and forgives everyone and rejects no creature's prayer. If with his strong faith he does teshuvah for this sin, Hashem digs an opening for him beneath His Throne of Glory and stretches out His right hand to receive him [cf. Sanhedrin 103a; Pesachim 119a].

7“And those who sinned too much”: for a lowly, dark, trifling and contemptible creature who rebelled against the exalted Creator, every sin he committed is “too much.” Yet if he believes and trusts in Hashem and His salvation, “kindness will surround him” [Tehillim 32:10]. But if he is blemished in faith as well, woe and alas! …⁴

8Iyov said, “From my flesh I see God”: through the sufferings of the body. How much more so, many times over, if a person takes to heart the painful sufferings of his soul's illnesses.

9A second discourse. “Were it not for you, I would not have created heaven and earth.” This is along the lines of the Midrash (Bereishis Rabbah 43:7): “R' Yitzchak said: Avraham would welcome travelers. After they had eaten and drunk, he would say to them, ‘Bless!’ They asked, ‘What should we say?’ He told them, ‘Say: Blessed is the God of the world, whose food we have eaten.’ The Holy One, blessed be He, said to him: My Name was not known among My creatures, and you made Me known among them. I consider it as if you were My partner in creating the world. That is what it says: ‘Koneh of heaven and earth’⁵ [Bereishis 14:19].”

10As we said above, the essential purpose of creating heaven and earth was understanding. From creation a person should grasp the Creator's greatness and exaltedness, and see by contrast his own lowliness. As the Rambam writes (Hilchos Yesodei HaTorah 2:2): “When a person reflects on His great and wondrous works and creatures, and sees from them His wisdom, which has no measure or end … and when he thinks about these very things, he immediately draws back, is afraid and in awe. He knows that he is a small, lowly, dark creature, standing with slight and meager understanding before the One whose knowledge is perfect. As David said, ‘When I see Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars that You established, what is man that You should remember him?’ [Tehillim 8:4–5].” Avraham Avinu made everyone call out the Name of Heaven, that He brings all things into being, and through this he became Hashem's partner in the work of Creation. That is the meaning of “were it not for you.” Were it not for Avraham Avinu, who made Hashem's Name known in the world, Hashem would not have created heaven and earth at all, for there would have been no benefit in creating them. Even had He created them, creation would not have reached the perfection He wants, for His essential intention in making the heavens was understanding: that people reflect on Hashem's exaltedness. That is what the Midrash means: “Were it not for you, I would not have created heaven and earth.”