The Four Who Entered the Pardes
Four great sages entered the orchard of the Torah's deepest secrets, and Ben Azzai's soul went out in longing as he gazed at the Shechinah.
It is told that four sages once entered the Pardes, the orchard of the highest secrets of the Torah. They were Ben Azzai, Ben Zoma, Elisha ben Avuyah, who would later be called Acher, the other one, and Rebbi Akiva.
Before they set out, Rebbi Akiva, the eldest among them, warned his companions. When you reach the stones of pure marble, he told them, do not say: Water, water. For the verse says that one who speaks falsehood will not stand before My eyes.
Each of the four came out of the Pardes differently. Ben Azzai gazed at the Shechinah and died. About him the verse says: Precious in the eyes of Hashem is the death of His pious ones. Ben Zoma gazed and was harmed. Of him the verse says: If you have found honey, eat only what is enough for you. Elisha ben Avuyah cut down the young plants, turning away from the path of Torah. Only Rebbi Akiva entered in peace and left in peace.
Ben Azzai's whole life had been a longing to come close to Hashem through His Torah. When he finally stood at the place of that closeness, his soul went out to it and did not return. The Gemara does not describe his passing as a punishment. It describes it with the tenderness of the verse, as the precious passing of a chassid whose soul simply rose to its source.
Source: Gemara, Chagigah 14b (Talmud Bavli), baraisa also in Tosefta Chagigah 2:2 (Sefaria numbering); English: The William Davidson Talmud (Koren–Steinsaltz translation), Chagigah 14b; another version in Talmud Yerushalmi, Chagigah 2:1.
Only Rebbi Akiva came out of the Pardes in peace, and he was the one who knew the warnings of the road. When you want to grow in an area of avodah that feels lofty, such as deeper davening, Kabbalah or a new chumrah, do not go alone. This week, choose one question about your spiritual growth and bring it to a rav or a mentor you trust. Let someone who knows the path walk part of it with you.