Switching Seats at the Wedding
On their wanderings, Reb Elimelech tried to take his brother Reb Zusha's place among the beaten beggars, and learned that what is decreed will find its man.
A story ofRebbe Elimelech of Lizhenskרבי אלימלך מליז'נסקProfile ›
Chassidim relate that during the years of their wandering, Reb Elimelech and Reb Zusha, dressed as beggars, once spent the night at an inn where a wedding was being held. As was the custom, the poor gathered at the edge of the hall to share in the meal. The guests were rough men, flushed with drink, and they found amusement in the beggars. Between dances they would seize one of the poor men, throw him to the floor, pour abuse on him and send him back to his place.
Reb Zusha sat nearest the crowd, so each time it was he whom they took. Reb Elimelech watched from his corner, and what he felt was not only pity but a quiet envy. His brother was being given a chance to be cleansed through humiliation, and he was not. When the guests had gone back to dancing, he leaned over and whispered, Dear brother, let us change places. You have suffered enough. Rest in my corner and I will sit where you sat.
They changed seats. When the music stopped, the guests came looking for their sport, and Reb Elimelech braced himself. But one of the men called out that it was not fair to keep beating the same guest. Let us take the one sitting quietly in the corner, he said, so that he too will remember this wedding. And they dragged Reb Zusha out once more.
When it was over, Reb Zusha said gently to his brother: You see, my brother, a blow that is meant for a man will find him, wherever he sits.
Source: Ohel Elimelech (R' Avraham Chaim Simcha Bunim Michelsohn, c. 1910), no. 177. The story is told of both brothers in that collection; other tellings set the beating in an inn or tavern at night rather than at a wedding. No English edition identified.
Reb Elimelech's first instinct, when his brother was hurt, was to say: let me take your place. You can do a small version of that today. Think of someone near you who is carrying too much, a tired parent, a colleague behind on work, a friend in a hard season, and offer one concrete thing: an hour of your time, a meal, a task taken off their plate. Do not wait to be asked, and do not make it a big conversation. Sometimes love is simply moving over so someone can rest.