Too Much Awe to Carry
The Yismach Moshe of Ujhely asked Heaven for ever greater yiras Shomayim, and discovered what the Rambam's level really means.
A story ofRav Moshe ben Maimon (Rambam)רבי משה בן מימוןProfile ›
The Tosher Rebbe and the Satmar Rebbe each told this account on different occasions. It concerns Rav Moshe Teitelbaum of Ujhely, the author of Yismach Moshe.
The Rebbe once prayed that he be given the yiras Shomayim of a Tanna. From Above he was told that he would not be able to bear it. He did not give up, and asked for the yiras Shomayim of an Amora, or at least of one of the Geonim. The answer was the same: it would be too much for him.
Then he made a third request, that he be given the yiras Shomayim of the Rambam. This time the prayer was accepted.
But the Yismach Moshe soon felt the weight of what he had received. The awe pressed on him so heavily that he could not live under it. He prayed again, this time that it be taken from him, and it was lifted.
Chassidim tell this story to show how high the Rambam stood. A tzaddik who had once asked for the reverence of a Tanna found the Rambam's measure beyond what an ordinary life could hold.
Source: Teshuos Tzadikim, as related by the Tosher Rebbe and the Satmar Rebbe (see also Avodas Avoda, Sichos, Shemos). No English edition identified.
Reverence for Hashem is meant to be lived with, day after day, not just admired from a distance. Choose one small way to be more aware of Him today: a pause before you eat, a sincere bracha, or a quiet moment before you begin your work. Let that become steady before you reach for more. The Rambam's yiras Shomayim grew through learning and years of daily practice. You can ask Hashem to help you take the next step, and to give you the strength to carry it.