Where Are You, Son of Lakish
After Reish Lakish passed away, Rebbi Yochanan learned how much he had treasured the student who challenged everything he said.
It is told that after Reish Lakish passed away, Rebbi Yochanan was overcome with grief for his talmid and brother-in-law. The sages asked one another who could go and comfort him and settle his mind.
They chose Rebbi Elazar ben Pedas, a brilliant sage whose words were sharp and clear. Surely, they thought, a mind like his could take the place of the one Rebbi Yochanan had lost.
Rebbi Elazar went and sat before Rebbi Yochanan and they began to learn. Every time Rebbi Yochanan said something, Rebbi Elazar answered: There is a baraisa that supports you.
Rebbi Yochanan turned to him in pain. Are you like the son of Lakish? he asked. When I said something before the son of Lakish, he would raise twenty-four difficulties against me, and I would give him twenty-four answers, and through this the halacha became broad and clear on its own. And you tell me that there is a baraisa that supports me. Do I not know myself that what I say is right?
Rebbi Yochanan went about, tearing his clothes and weeping. Where are you, son of Lakish? he cried. Where are you, son of Lakish? His grief was so great that the sages davened for mercy on him, and soon afterwards he too left the world.
The greatest sage of his generation did not miss a student who agreed with him. He missed the one who never let him rest, whose questions had made his Torah complete.
Source: Gemara, Bava Metzia 84a (Talmud Bavli); English: The William Davidson Talmud (Koren–Steinsaltz translation), Bava Metzia 84a.
Think of a person who pushes back on your ideas: a chavrusa, a spouse, a colleague or a friend who asks hard questions. This week, instead of defending yourself, tell them that their questions make your thinking better. When you learn with someone, try asking one honest question you would normally keep to yourself. Real growth, in Torah and in life, often comes from the person who does not simply agree.