They Got the Wrong Man
When a colleague spoke against Rav Bunim, Rav Yitzchok answered with a story about being mistaken for someone else.
A story ofRav Yisroel Yitzchok Kalish of Vorkaהרב ישראל יצחק בן שמעון קאליש מוורקאProfile ›
It is told that Rav Yitzchok of Vorka was one of the most devoted talmidim of Rav Simcha Bunim of Peshischa. One of his own associates, a learned man, often spoke disrespectfully about Rav Bunim, even in Rav Yitzchok's presence. Rav Yitzchok never seemed upset, and even went out of his way to visit the man as though nothing was wrong.
Some chassidim noticed this and asked how he could remain so calm. In answer, he told them of a journey he had once made. He arrived in a certain city, and a stranger stared at him and declared that he was the man they were looking for. Then two others did the same.
The three men returned with a crowd, and with a woman Rav Yitzchok had never seen. They accused him of abandoning her years before, leaving her unable to remarry, and demanded that he give her a divorce on the spot. He said he did not know her, and that a divorce would not help her. The insults grew harsher, and they dragged him before the town's rabbi.
The rabbi was calmer than the crowd. Rav Yitzchok showed plainly that he had never been married to the woman, and the matter was resolved.
He then asked the chassidim whether he should have been upset by the abuse. The crowd, he explained, was angry at somebody else. Had they known who he truly was, they would never have spoken to him that way. So it was with his friend. The man spoke against Rav Bunim because he did not really know him. If he did, Rav Yitzchok said, he would say nothing at all.
Source: Siach Sarfei Kodesh, vol. 2, p. 117; adapted in English by Menachem Posner, 'They Got the Wrong Man!', Chabad.org.
When someone speaks harshly about a person you respect, or about you, try not to answer with heat. Ask yourself what they may not know. A calm, honest answer, or even a respectful silence, often does more than an argument. Today, if you hear a hurtful remark, take one slow breath before you reply. Remember that people usually judge what they have not fully seen. Then respond with patience, and, if it is appropriate, offer a little of what you know.