Not Held to Account in Anguish
From Hashem's judgment of Iyov's words, Rava learned that a person is not held to account for what he says in his pain.
Elihu said of Iyov that he spoke without knowledge and his words were without wisdom. Yet at the end of the book, Hashem says to Iyov's friends: you did not speak rightly of Me, as My servant Iyov did. How can both be true? Rava answers with a principle the Gemara records: a person is not held to account at the time of his anguish. Iyov said hard things, things the Gemara does not hide, but he said them from the depths of his suffering, and Hashem did not count them against him. His friends, who spoke calmly and judged him, were the ones sent to ask for his prayer.
Source: Gemara, Bava Basra 16b (on Iyov 34:35 and 42:8)
When someone in pain lashes out at you this week, a sick parent, a worried spouse, a friend after bad news, remember Rava's words: a person is not held to account in his anguish. Do not answer the words; answer the pain. Say something like, this must be so hard for you, and let the rest go. And be careful not to become the friend who judges from comfort. Sit with them first, and speak later.