Amora

Abaye

אביי

The orphan raised by Rabbah who became head of the yeshiva in Pumbedisa, Rava's great partner in debate, beloved for joining Torah with kindness.

YahrzeitNot recorded

Lifetimec. 278 – 338 CE (lived sixty years; passed away in 4098)

KeverYavnit, Upper GalileeBurial cave of Abaye and Rava (traditional site), Eretz Yisroel

Biography

Early Life

Abaye zy"a, one of the greatest Amoraim of Bavel, came into the world an orphan. His father passed away while his mother was expecting him, and his mother passed away when he was born. The Gemara names him together with the great Rebbi Yochanan of Eretz Yisroel as men who never saw their father or their mother. He grew up in the home of Rabbah bar Nachmani, the great sage who would later lead the yeshiva of Pumbedisa, and both of them traced their family back to Eli HaKohen.

Rabbah raised the orphan in his own house and taught him Torah. Abaye was also known as Nachmani, the name of Rabbah's own father, and it seems the name was given to him because Rabbah brought him up. Even after Abaye's passing, Rava still spoke of his old friend as Nachmani.

A woman who reared him became his mother in every way that mattered. Abaye quoted her so often, beginning "Mother told me," that the Gemara stops to ask how he could speak of a mother he never saw, and answers that she was the woman who brought him up. Her sayings are full of a mother's practical wisdom. A baby needs warm water and oil; a little older, an egg with kutach (a dairy dip); older still, some old dishes to break, because a growing child enjoys breaking things.

As a young boy Abaye sat and learned before Rabbah together with another child, Rava. The two would remain partners in Torah for the rest of their lives, and their discussions would fill the pages of the Gemara.

His Teachers

Abaye's two great teachers were Rabbah and Rav Yosef, and each gave him something different. Rabbah was called an oker harim (one who uproots mountains), famous for his sharp reasoning. Rav Yosef was called Sinai, because he knew the whole Torah in perfect order. When the yeshiva needed a head, the sages of Eretz Yisroel answered that Sinai comes first, since everyone needs the owner of the wheat. Even so, Rav Yosef would not accept the post. Rabbah led the yeshiva for twenty-two years, and only after him did Rav Yosef take his place. In all those years Rav Yosef showed his humility in the smallest things. He never even summoned a bloodletter to his own home, but went to the bloodletter himself, so as not to act with any air of authority while Rabbah led. Abaye grew up watching two giants who each tried to make room for the other.

Abaye stayed close to Rav Yosef to the end. When Rav Yosef fell ill and forgot his learning, Abaye patiently taught him back what he had once heard from him. That is why the Gemara so often records Rav Yosef saying, I never heard this teaching, and Abaye answering, You taught it to us yourself, from this very baraisa (teaching of the Tannaim).

Students and colleagues brought him questions on every part of life. Rav Yaakov bar Avuh once asked how to behave when his parents wished to serve him. His father would bring him a cup and his mother would pour for him. Abaye told him to accept it from his mother, but not from his father, because a father who is a talmid chacham would be hurt to be served by his own son.

Head of the Yeshiva in Pumbedisa

After Rav Yosef passed away, Abaye took his place at the head of the yeshiva of Pumbedisa, and he stood at its head for thirteen years. In those years it was the one great yeshiva of Bavel, and the sages of the land gathered there to learn.

His debates with Rava became the backbone of the Gemara. They are known as the havayos (discussions) of Abaye and Rava. Chazal teach that Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai mastered every part of Torah, from the secrets of the Divine Chariot to the discussions of Abaye and Rava. In almost every dispute the halacha follows Rava, but in six cases, remembered by the letters Yael Kegam, the halacha follows Abaye.

Abaye loved to see others grow in Torah. He said that when he saw a young talmid chacham finish a masechta, he would make a feast for the sages in his honor, and he hoped to be rewarded for it. He also understood ordinary working people. Many tried to join earning a living with learning Torah and succeeded, he observed, while many who tried to leave the world of work entirely did not succeed.

He was careful with other people's money and with the honor of Heaven. When he bought meat from two partners, he paid each of them separately, so that each would know he had been paid. Afterward he brought them together and settled the account.

It is told that Heaven took notice of his ways. Every Erev Shabbos a greeting came to him from the yeshiva on high, while his colleague Rava received such a greeting only once a year.

His Enduring Legacy

Abaye knew that the family of Eli carried a heavy decree: its sons would die young. He taught that the decree could be softened through Torah together with gemilus chasadim (acts of kindness). His own life proved his words. Rabbah, who gave himself to learning, lived forty years. Abaye, who joined his learning with kindness to others, lived sixty.

He passed away in the year 4098 (337/338 CE), after thirteen years at the head of the yeshiva. The day of his passing was not recorded. His wife Choma survived him, and Rava, his lifelong partner in learning, became the leader of the generation after him, and the sages of Bavel gathered around him.

According to tradition, Abaye and Rava are buried together in a cave at Yavnit in the Galilee.

Every Jew who opens a Gemara meets Abaye on almost every page, asking, answering and searching for the truth together with Rava. To this day his words guide the way Jews learn, and his life is a reminder that an orphan raised in another's home can grow into a teacher of all Israel, and that Torah joined with kindness lengthens a person's days.

Stories

Pointing to the Heavens

When Rabbah asked two young boys where Hashem dwells, Abaye walked outside and pointed to the sky, and Rabbah foresaw that both would become great sages.

It is told that when Abaye and Rava were still small boys, they sat together and learned before Rabbah. One day Rabbah decided to test them with a question that had nothing to do with the page in front of them.

To whom do we say a bracha? he asked.

To the Merciful One, the boys answered at once. To Hashem.

Rabbah pressed further. And where does the Merciful One dwell?

Rava raised his hand and pointed up at the ceiling of the room. Abaye did something different. He stood up, walked out of the house, and pointed up at the open sky.

Rabbah looked at the two children and said: Both of you will become great sages. As people say, you can tell a cucumber from the time it first flowers.

Neither boy was wrong, and both of them did indeed grow into the leaders of their generation. But Abaye was not satisfied with pointing at a ceiling. He wanted to show that Hashem is not contained inside the walls of a house. He fills the heavens and the whole world, and a child who already sensed that had the beginnings of greatness.

Source: Gemara, Berachos 48a (Talmud Bavli); English: The William Davidson Talmud (Koren–Steinsaltz translation), Berachos 48a.

Practical lessonStep outside for one bracha

This week, take one bracha outside with you. When you say a bracha on an apple or a drink, or Asher Yatzar, pause for a moment and look up, at a window or at the open sky. Remind yourself that the One you are speaking to fills the whole world, not only the room you are in. If you have children, ask them Rabbah's question at the table: Where does Hashem live? Listen carefully to their answers.

The Greeting from Heaven

Abaye was puzzled that a simple bloodletter received a greeting from Heaven every day while he received one only on Erev Shabbos, until he learned how that man lived.

It is told that a greeting came down from the yeshiva on high every Erev Shabbos to Abaye. Yet a man named Abba, a bloodletter (a healer who let blood to cure the sick), received such a greeting every single day. Abaye was troubled. What did this simple man do that he did not? He was told: You could not do what he does.

Abba's ways were indeed special. He treated men and women separately, and he made a special garment for women so that he would never see them uncovered. Payment was dropped into a box in a hidden corner, so that anyone who could pay put money in and anyone who could not was never shamed. When a talmid chacham came to him, Abba took nothing. Instead he pressed money into his hand and said: Go buy food to regain your strength.

Abaye sent two sages to see for themselves. Abba fed them, gave them drink and spread rugs for them to sleep on. In the morning they rolled up the rugs, took them to the market and asked him what they were worth. He named a price. Perhaps they are worth more, they said. That is what I paid, he answered. They admitted that the rugs were his and asked what he had thought of them. He said he assumed they had suddenly needed money to redeem captives and were too embarrassed to ask. When they offered the rugs back, he refused. From the moment he noticed they were gone, he had given them to tzedakah in his heart.

The great Rosh Yeshiva learned from the bloodletter that Heaven treasures quiet kindness and the protection of another person's dignity.

Source: Gemara, Taanis 21b–22a (Talmud Bavli); English: The William Davidson Talmud (Koren–Steinsaltz translation), Taanis 21b–22a.

Practical lessonGive so no one feels small

Abba the bloodletter's secret was that no one ever left his door embarrassed. Look for one way this week to help someone without making them feel like a receiver. Pay for a friend's coffee before they reach the counter, leave groceries without a note, or tell someone who owes you a small sum that it is already taken care of. When you give, let the other person keep their dignity.

Nachmani, Open and Speak

When a group of sages agreed that whoever could not be refuted would lead them, only Abaye's words held firm.

It is told that four sages once sat learning together: Abaye, Rava, Rebbi Zeira and Rabbah bar Masna. They were a fine group, but they had no head, and a group of learners needs someone to lead.

They did not cast lots or take a vote. They decided to let the Torah choose. Whoever says something that cannot be refuted, they agreed, will be our head.

One after another, each of them offered an idea, and one after another the others found the weakness in it. Every statement fell, until it was Abaye's turn. He said his piece, and the others searched and questioned, but no one could find a flaw. His words stood.

Abaye lifted his head a little. Rabbah saw it, and called him by his name: Nachmani, open and speak. Begin the shiur.

In that circle of friends there was no envy and no politics. The sages wanted only the truth, and they were glad to follow the one who could lead them to it. The orphan who had grown up in another's home now opened the learning for his companions.

Source: Gemara, Horayos 14a (Talmud Bavli); English: The William Davidson Talmud (Koren–Steinsaltz translation), Horayos 14a.

Practical lessonLet the truth lead the room

In your next disagreement at home, at work or in your chavrusa, try the young sages' way. Before arguing for your side, say: Let's see whose idea holds up best. Then really test your own idea as hard as you test the other person's. If theirs is stronger, say so out loud. Following the truth, even when it comes from someone else, is how good learning and good friendships grow.

Teachings

Wise in the Fear of Heaven

A favorite saying of Abaye was that a person should always be clever in the fear of Heaven. He explains what he means with the verse in Mishlei, "A soft answer turns away anger." A wise person does not wait for peace to happen. He works for it, with his brothers, with his relatives and with every person he meets, even a non-Jew in the marketplace whom he hardly knows. The reward, Abaye says, is threefold: he will be loved above, pleasant below, and accepted by all people. Abaye's cleverness is not trickery. It is the wisdom of a person who thinks ahead, chooses his words carefully, and turns potential quarrels into friendships, because he knows that peace among people is part of serving Hashem.

Gemara, Berachos 17a (on Mishlei 15:1)

Practical lessonAnswer softly, once a day

Choose one moment each day this week when you feel the urge to snap back: a family member's complaint, a rude driver, a short email at work. Instead, answer softly. Lower your voice, start with something kind such as I hear you, and keep your reply short. Notice how quickly the anger in the room fades. That small, clever choice is exactly the fear of Heaven Abaye was teaching.

Make Hashem's Name Beloved

The Torah commands us to love Hashem. Abaye explains, citing a teaching of the Tannaim, that this also means making the Name of Heaven beloved through you. How? A person learns Torah, serves talmidei chachamim, and deals pleasantly with people in business. Then people say of him: Fortunate is his father who taught him Torah, fortunate is his teacher. See how pleasant his ways are and how fine his deeds. About such a person the verse says, You are My servant, Israel, in whom I take glory. Abaye lived this himself. When he bought meat from two partners, he was careful to pay each of them separately, so that neither could ever suspect him of owing money. For Abaye, the way a Jew pays his bills is part of how he loves Hashem.

Gemara, Yoma 86a (on Devarim 6:5 and Yeshayahu 49:3)

Practical lessonBe the reason someone smiles at Torah

This week, pay special attention to the people you deal with in business or in stores: the cashier, the delivery driver, a client or a contractor. Pay on time, say thank you by name, and be patient when something goes wrong. If you owe anyone money, even a small amount, settle it now. Let the people around you think: If that is what a Torah Jew is like, how beautiful.

Torah Together with Kindness

The descendants of Eli HaKohen carried a decree that they would die young, and the verse says that it would never be atoned for with korbanos. Rava taught that it could be atoned for through Torah. Abaye added: through Torah and gemilus chasadim, acts of kindness. The Gemara shows that both were right in their own lives. Rabbah, of Eli's family, gave himself to Torah and lived forty years. Abaye, of the same family, joined his learning with kindness to others and lived sixty. Abaye's teaching is that Torah reaches its full power when it flows outward into caring for people. Learning makes a person great; learning together with kindness makes his life itself longer and fuller.

Gemara, Rosh Hashanah 18a (on Shmuel I 3:14)

Practical lessonPair each shiur with a chesed

For the next week, attach one small act of kindness to your learning. After your daf, your parsha or your shiur, do one thing for someone else before the day ends: call a person who is alone, help a neighbor carry something, or send a short note of encouragement. Let your learning and your kindness travel together, the way they did for Abaye.

Family & talmidim

Teachers: Rabbah bar Nachmani, Rav Yosef

Historical sources