Matriarch/Biblical

Rivkah Imeinu

רבקה אמנו

Matriarch of Israel, wife of Yitzchak Avinu and mother of Yaakov, who grew up among the wicked yet brought Sarah's light back into her tent.

YahrzeitNot recorded

Lifetimeborn c. 1676 BCE (traditional chronology)

KeverChevron (Hebron)Me'aras HaMachpeilah (Cave of the Patriarchs), Eretz Yisroel

Biography

Early Life

Rivkah Imeinu a"h was the daughter of Besuel, the son of Nachor, Avraham Avinu's brother, and of Milkah. She grew up in Aram Naharayim, in the city of Nachor, in the land the Torah calls Padan Aram, and her brother was Lavan. Chazal teach that the news of her birth reached Avraham as he came down from Har HaMoriah after the Akeidah. He had been wondering whom his son would marry, and Hashem let him know that the girl destined for Yitzchak had just been born.

When the Torah records her marriage, it names her father, her brother and her homeland once more, though the reader already knows them. Rashi explains that this is said in her praise. Her father was wicked, her brother was wicked, and the people of her town were no better, yet she learned nothing from their ways. The Midrash calls her a lily growing among thorns.

Years later Avraham sent his servant Eliezer to his family in Aram to bring a wife for Yitzchak. At the well outside the city the servant asked Hashem for a sign, and Rivkah was the answer: she gave water to a stranger and to all his camels, and invited him to lodge in her father's house. Chazal say that the water of the spring rose up to meet her.

The Bride of Yitzchak

Eliezer told the family the whole story, and Lavan and Besuel answered that the matter had come from Hashem. The Midrash relates that Besuel then tried to stand in the way and died that same night, which Rashi gives as the reason that only her brother and her mother speak afterwards. When the family stalled, they called Rivkah herself, and she gave her answer in a single word: I will go. From this exchange the Sages learn that a girl is not given in marriage without her own consent.

She set out with her nurse and her maids, and at evening she saw Yitzchak, who had gone out to the field to daven. Rashi, following the Seder Olam, counts that Yitzchak was then forty, and that Rivkah was very young, only three years old.

Yitzchak brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah. Rashi, drawing on the Midrash, describes what changed. While Sarah lived, a lamp burned in her tent from one Erev Shabbos to the next, a blessing rested in her dough, and a cloud hung over her tent. All three had stopped when she passed away, and all three returned when Rivkah came. The Midrash adds that the tent's doors, always open to guests in Sarah's day, were opened wide again. Yitzchak loved her, and he was comforted after his mother.

Mother of Yaakov and Eisav

For twenty years Rivkah had no children. The Midrash tells that Yitzchak and Rivkah davened facing each other, each in a corner. He asked that every child Hashem would give him come from this tzaddeket, and she asked that all her children come from this tzaddik. Hashem answered Yitzchak's tefillah, and the Gemara explains that the prayer of a tzaddik whose father was a tzaddik cannot be compared to that of a tzaddik whose father was wicked.

When she conceived, the children struggled within her. Chazal say that when she passed a place of Torah, Yaakov strained to come out, and when she passed a house of idolatry, Eisav did the same. In her pain she cried, If so, why am I? and went to seek Hashem at the beis medrash of Shem. The answer came that two nations were in her womb, that one would be stronger than the other, and that the elder would serve the younger. The Midrash adds that she had been worthy to bring forth all twelve tribes herself.

Eisav was born first, red and covered with hair, and Yaakov after him, holding his heel, when Yitzchak was sixty. As the boys grew, Eisav became a hunter, a man of the field, and Yaakov a wholesome man who dwelt in tents. Yitzchak loved Eisav, and Rivkah loved Yaakov.

During a famine the family lived in Gerar, in the land of the Pelishtim. Yitzchak feared that the local men would kill him because of Rivkah's beauty, so he called her his sister, until Avimelech the king saw that she was his wife and warned his people not to harm either of them. When Eisav, at forty, married two women of Cheis, they brought bitterness of spirit to Yitzchak and Rivkah; Rashi says it was because they served idols.

Her Enduring Legacy

When Yitzchak grew old and sent Eisav to hunt before he would bless him, Rivkah sent Yaakov in his brother's place, and Yaakov received the blessings. Chazal say that afterwards ruach hakodesh (Divine inspiration) revealed to her that Eisav meant to kill his brother. She sent Yaakov to Lavan in Charan for a short while, she said, until Eisav's anger cooled, and asked why she should lose them both in one day. Rashi writes that ruach hakodesh rested on her as she spoke, and her words were a prophecy: the two brothers would one day die on the same day. Then she told Yitzchak that the women of Cheis had made her weary of her life, and Yitzchak sent Yaakov off with a blessing, to find a wife in her family.

Rivkah had promised to send for Yaakov, and Rashi relates that she kept her word: she sent her nurse Devorah to tell him to come home. Devorah passed away on the journey back and was buried beneath the oak below Beis El, and there, Chazal say, Yaakov received word that his mother had passed away as well. The Torah does not record her passing openly; Rashi explains that it was kept quiet so that people would not speak ill of the mother who had borne Eisav. She was buried in the Me'aras HaMachpeilah in Chevron beside Yitzchak, as Yaakov said at the end of his life: there they buried Yitzchak and Rivkah his wife.

The Midrash teaches that the Imahos were prophetesses and that Rivkah was one of them. The Chassidic masters found in her life a path of avodah. Rebbe Elimelech of Lizhensk, in the Noam Elimelech, reads her cry of Why am I? as the pain of a mother who knew her children would receive the Torah and could not bear that it be received with any mixture of evil. She blamed herself for it and went to seek Hashem, to repair her own share in her child. In another maamar he reads Rivkah as the Shechinah herself, the mother of Israel who cannot bear to see her children in want. Jews remember her as the young girl who chose kindness in a house of deceit, and as the mother who knew which son would carry the blessing and stood with him until the door.

Stories

The Water Rose to Meet Her

At the well of Aram, Rivkah answered a stranger's request for a sip of water with far more than he had asked.

Eliezer arrived at the well outside the city of Nachor toward evening, when the women came out to draw water. He made his ten camels kneel and asked Hashem for a sign: let the girl who answers his request for a drink by offering water to his camels as well be the one chosen for Yitzchak. Rashi explains his reasoning. A girl who does kindness like this is fit to enter the house of Avraham.

Before he had finished speaking, Rivkah came out with her jug on her shoulder. The Midrash relates that all the other women went down to the spring to draw, but when the water saw Rivkah it rose up toward her by itself. Hashem said to her that this was a sign for her children: just as the water rose for her, the well would one day rise for them in the desert.

The servant ran toward her, and Chazal say he ran toward her good deeds. He asked only for a sip. She answered, Drink, my lord, and lowered the jug for him. When he had finished, she offered to draw for his camels until they had drunk their fill, and she ran back and forth to the well until all of them were satisfied. Eliezer stood watching her in silence.

He gave her a gold nose ring and two bracelets and asked whose daughter she was, and whether there was room in her father's house to spend the night. She told him her family and said there was straw and feed in plenty, and a place to lodge. The Midrash notes that he had asked for one night, and she offered him many. The servant bowed and thanked Hashem.

Source: Bereishis 24:10–27; Midrash Bereishis Rabbah 60:5–6; Rashi on Bereishis 24:14 and 24:17. English: The Sefaria Midrash Rabbah (2022).

Practical lessonGive more than you were asked

Eliezer asked Rivkah for a sip; she gave him a full drink, watered ten thirsty camels, and offered a bed for as many nights as he needed. This week, when someone asks you for something small, a ride, a recipe, five minutes of your time, look for one way to give a little more than the request: wait until they are safely inside, add a note of encouragement, or offer to help again. Do it quickly and cheerfully, the way she ran to the well. Small acts done this way show who you are.

I Will Go

When her family tried to delay her, Rivkah decided for herself to follow Avraham's servant to an unknown husband in a distant land.

The morning after Eliezer arrived, he asked to return to his master at once. The Midrash tells that Besuel had wanted to obstruct the match and had died during the night. Her brother and her mother asked that Rivkah stay with them a year, or at least ten months, before she left. Eliezer pleaded with them not to hold him back, since Hashem had made his journey succeed.

They said they would call the girl and ask her. The Midrash hears in their question a hint meant to discourage her: Will you really go with this man? Rivkah answered with one word, I will go. Rashi explains her meaning: she would go on her own accord, even if they did not agree. Her family sent her off with her nurse and her maids, and blessed her that she would become thousands of myriads and that her children would possess the gates of their enemies.

Toward evening, as the caravan drew near, Yitzchak had gone out to the field to daven. Rivkah lifted her eyes and saw him. The Midrash says she saw his hand stretched out in tefillah and understood that he was a great man. She inclined herself down from the camel and asked the servant who was walking toward them through the field. When she heard that it was his master, she took her veil and covered herself.

Yitzchak brought her into his mother's tent, and he loved her.

Source: Bereishis 24:54–67; Midrash Bereishis Rabbah 60:12–16; Rashi on Bereishis 24:55, 24:57–58, 24:63–64 and 24:67. English: The Sefaria Midrash Rabbah (2022).

Practical lessonAnswer the call clearly

Rivkah's family hoped she would hesitate, and she answered in one word. Think of one good step you have been postponing because others might question it: a shiur you want to join, a mitzvah you want to take on, a call to make peace. Decide on it today, and say your answer out loud, even if only to yourself: I will go. Then take the first small action before the day ends, such as signing up or sending the message. Clarity often comes after the first step, not before it.

From Here, Your Creator Will Stand With You

Rivkah prepared Yaakov to receive his father's blessing, took his fear upon herself, and walked him to the door.

When Rivkah heard Yitzchak tell Eisav to hunt game and prepare him a meal so that he could bless him, she called Yaakov and told him to go to the flock and bring two choice kids. The Midrash hears more in her words: go for the sake of the nation that is likened to a flock. The two kids, it says, were good for Yaakov, who would receive the blessings through them, and good for his children, who would one day find atonement through two goats on Yom Kippur.

Yaakov was afraid. Eisav was hairy and he was smooth; if his father touched him, he would seem a deceiver and bring a curse on himself instead of a blessing. His mother answered, Let your curse be upon me, my son. Targum Onkelos explains that she had been told in prophecy that no curse would reach him. The Midrash adds that she was ready to go in herself and tell Yitzchak that Yaakov was the tzaddik and Eisav the wicked one.

Yaakov went, the Midrash says, compelled, against his will, and weeping. Rivkah prepared the food the way Yitzchak liked it. She dressed Yaakov in Eisav's fine garments, which were kept with her in the house, and covered his hands and the smooth part of his neck with the skins of the kids. Then she placed the food and the bread in his hands.

The Midrash relates that she walked with him as far as the doorway, and there she said to him: Until here I was obligated to you. From here on, your Creator will stand with you.

Source: Bereishis 27:5–17; Targum Onkelos on Bereishis 27:13; Midrash Bereishis Rabbah 65:14–17. English: The Sefaria Midrash Rabbah (2022); Metsudah Chumash with Onkelos (2009).

Practical lessonDo your part, then let go

Rivkah did everything a mother could do, and then she stopped at the doorway and handed her son over to Hashem. Think of someone you are trying to help, a child before a test, a friend before a hard meeting, a relative facing a decision. Prepare them as well as you can this week. Then, at the door, say to them, or quietly to yourself, that Hashem will stand with them from here. Saying it may ease your worry and remind you where the outcome really rests.

Teachings

A Lily Among the Thorns

When the Torah tells of Yitzchak's marriage, it calls Rivkah the daughter of Besuel the Arami, of Padan Aram, the sister of Lavan the Arami. The reader knows all this already. Rashi, following the Midrash, explains that the verse repeats it to praise her. Her father was a deceiver, her brother was a deceiver, and the people of her place were the same, yet this tzaddeket came out of their midst untouched by their ways. The Midrash applies to her the words of Shir HaShirim, like a lily among the thorns. Rivkah did not wait for good surroundings in order to be good. She brought her goodness with her into the house of Avraham.

Bereishis Rabbah 63:4; Rashi on Bereishis 25:20 (on Shir HaShirim 2:2)

Practical lessonKeep your goodness where you are

You may spend your days in an office, a class or a building where honesty and kindness are not the norm. Rivkah teaches that this does not have to shape you. Choose one habit you will keep there this week no matter what others do: refusing to join gossip, telling the truth about a mistake, or greeting the person everyone ignores. Hold to it quietly, without lecturing anyone. A lily does not argue with the thorns; it simply stays a lily.

Take It for Me

The Noam Elimelech brings from the Zohar that the Shechinah is called Rivkah, and the people of Israel are called Yaakov. Yitzchak meant to give the blessings of this world to Eisav, but the Shechinah, a mother who suffers in all her children's troubles, could not bear to see them poor. So she sent Yaakov for the blessings. Yaakov was afraid that wealth and comfort would coarsen him and pull him away from serving Hashem, so that the blessing would turn into a curse. His mother answered: the curse is upon me, it is my task to guard you from it. Only listen to me, and go take them for me. Receive this world's blessings too, Rebbe Elimelech explains, but let them be for me, for the service of Hashem's great Name: eat, drink and live for the sake of Heaven, raising the holy sparks within them.

Noam Elimelech, Bereishis, Toldos (on Bereishis 27:6–14)

Practical lessonEat one meal for Heaven

Choose one meal this week to eat with Rivkah's words in mind: take it for Me. Before you begin, think for a moment that you are eating to have strength to serve Hashem, to learn, to daven, to be patient with your family. Say the brachah slowly and mean it. During the meal, share one word of Torah or one kind word with whoever is with you. The food is the same food, but the meal becomes a gift you receive for Heaven.

His and Not Hers

Rashi teaches that Hashem accepted Yitzchak's tefillah for children and not Rivkah's, because the prayer of a tzaddik who is the son of a tzaddik is not like that of a tzaddik whose father was wicked. The Yismach Yisroel of Alexander explains the difference. Rivkah was truly righteous, and she davened on the strength of her own merit. Yitzchak had great merit of his own, yet he leaned only on the merit of his father Avraham. The tefillos of the Avos opened paths for their children. Had Hashem answered Rivkah's prayer, the path it opened would have been prayer in one's own merit, and those of us who have none could not follow it. So Hashem answered Yitzchak's humble prayer, and the path stays open for every Jew to pray in the merit of the Avos.

Yismach Yisroel, Bereishis, Toldos (on Bereishis 25:21 and Rashi there; Yevamos 64a)

Practical lessonPray in the merit of the Avos

On a day when you feel you have no merit of your own to stand on, do not stop davening. Before a personal request, in Shemoneh Esrei or in your own words, pause at the first brachah, where we mention the God of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, and ask Hashem to answer you in their merit. Then make your request simply. The path Yitzchak opened is there for anyone who leans on it, and it does not ask you to be worthy first.

Family & talmidim

Children: Eisav, Yaakov Avinu

Historical sources