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Lehavas David · Parshas Vayeishev · Maamar ט

Repenting Anew: Reuven Opens the Way of Teshuvah

From the Torah ofRav Dovid Matisyohu Rabinowitzהרב דוד מתתיהו בן יחיאל יהושע רבינוביץProfile ›
Bereishis 37:29-30
וַיָּשׇׁב רְאוּבֵן אֶל־הַבּוֹר וְהִנֵּה אֵין־יוֹסֵף בַּבּוֹר וַיִּקְרַע אֶת־בְּגָדָיו וַיָּשׇׁב אֶל־אֶחָיו וַיֹּאמַר הַיֶּלֶד אֵינֶנּוּ וַאֲנִי אָנָה אֲנִי־בָא
Reuven returned to the pit, and behold, Yosef was not in the pit; and he tore his garments. He returned to his brothers and said, “The boy is gone, and I, where can I go?”
1“Reuven returned to the pit … and he said, ‘The boy is gone, and I, where can I go?’”1 The Midrash Pli'ah, a collection of cryptic Midrashic sayings, comments: “‘And I, where can I go?’ With the sin in the episode of Bilhah.”2 At first glance this is hard to understand. What does the episode of Bilhah have to do with the sale of Yosef?
וַיָּשָׁב רְאוּבֵן אֶל הַבּוֹר וְגוֹ׳ וַיֹּאמַר הַיֶּלֶד אֵינֶנּוּ וַאֲנִי אָנָה אֲנִי בָא (לז, כט ל). אִיתָא בַּמִּדְרָשׁ (מדרש פליאה אות ל) ״וַאֲנִי אָנָה אֲנִי בָא״ בְּחֵטְא שֶׁל מַעֲשֵׂה בִּלְהָה. וְלִכְאוֹרָה אֵינוֹ מוּבָן, מַה שַׁיָּיכוּת מַעֲשֵׂה בִּלְהָה לִמְכִירַת יוֹסֵף.
  1. Bereishis 37:29–30. ↩
  2. Midrash Pli'ah §30. The episode of Bilhah is Reuven's disturbing of his father's bed, which Chazal say meant moving it from the tent of Bilhah, Rachel's maidservant, to the tent of his mother, Leah (Bereishis 35:22; Shabbos 55b). ↩
In shortA Midrash ties Reuven's cry “where can I go?” to his sin in the Bilhah episode; what has that to do with Yosef's sale?
2Chazal taught: “‘Reuven returned to the pit.’ Where had he been? … R' Eliezer says: With his sackcloth and his fasting. … The Holy One, blessed be He, said to him: ‘Never has a man sinned before Me and done teshuvah, and you have opened with teshuvah first. By your life, a descendant of yours will arise and open with teshuvah first.’ And who is he? Hoshea, as it says, ‘Return, Yisrael, unto Hashem your God.’”3 The holy sefarim have asked about this: the Reishis Chochmah, the Shelah and the Bnei Yissaschar all point out that Kayin and Adam HaRishon had repented before Reuven!4 We must also ask what is meant by “By your life, a descendant of yours will arise and open with teshuvah first.” Teshuvah is spoken of in the Torah itself, long before Hoshea said “Return, Yisrael”!
וְהִנֵּה אָמְרוּ חז״ל (בראשית רבה פד, יח) ״וַיָּשָׁב רְאוּבֵן אֶל הַבּוֹר״, וְהֵיכָן הָיָה וְכוּ׳, רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אוֹמֵר בְּשַׂקּוֹ וּבְתַעֲנִיתוֹ וְכוּ׳, אָמַר לוֹ הקב״ה, מֵעוֹלָם לֹא חָטָא אָדָם לְפָנַי וְעָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה, וְאַתָּה פָּתַחְתָּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה תְּחִילָּה, חַיֶּיךָ שֶׁבֶּן בִּנְךָ עוֹמֵד וּפוֹתֵחַ בִּתְשׁוּבָה תְּחִילָּה, וְאֵיזֶה זֶה זֶה הוֹשֵׁעַ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (הושע יד, ב) ״שׁוּבָה יִשְׂרָאֵל עַד ה׳ אֱלוֹקֶיךָ״. וְהִקְשׁוּ בַּסְּפָרִים הַקְּדוֹשִׁים (ראשית חכמה שער התשובה פ״ג, של״ה פרשת במדבר, בני יששכר תשרי ד, ג) הֲרֵי קַיִן וְאָדָם הָרִאשׁוֹן כְּבָר עָשׂוּ תְּשׁוּבָה קוֹדֶם רְאוּבֵן. וְעוֹד, מַהוּ חַיֶּיךָ שֶׁבֶּן בִּנְךָ עוֹמֵד וּפוֹתֵחַ בִּתְשׁוּבָה תְּחִילָּה, הֲלֹא עִנְיַן הַתְּשׁוּבָה נִזְכַּר כְּבָר בַּתּוֹרָה עַצְמָהּ, הַרְבֵּה קוֹדֶם שֶׁאָמַר הוֹשֵׁעַ ׳שׁוּבָה יִשְׂרָאֵל׳.
  1. Bereishis Rabbah 84:18 (in standard editions 84:19); Hoshea 14:2. ↩
  2. Reishis Chochmah, Shaar HaTeshuvah, ch. 3; Shelah, Bamidbar; Bnei Yissaschar, Tishrei 4:3. ↩
In shortHow was Reuven first to repent, when Adam and Kayin repented before him, and how did Hoshea “open” teshuvah, when the Torah itself teaches it?
3We can explain this as follows. There is a well-known saying: “The ultimate of knowledge is that we do not know.” Even after we are privileged to do mitzvos and learn Torah, we must always picture ourselves as though we have not yet done anything at all, and long at once to do them as if just beginning. This is the idea of the words in the Elokai Netzor prayer, “and after Your mitzvos may my soul pursue”: even after doing the mitzvos, “may my soul pursue” them still and long to do them anew. It is a fundamental principle of avodas Hashem, the service of Hashem. We find the same idea at the giving of the Torah, when Israel said, “We will do and we will hear.”5 With these words Israel declared that even after doing and fulfilling the mitzvos of the Torah, it would always be ready to hear anew, as though it had not yet done the mitzvos at all.
אָכֵן אֶפְשָׁר לְפָרֵשׁ, דְּהִנֵּה נוֹדַע, כִּי תַּכְלִית הַיְּדִיעָה שֶׁלֹּא נֵדַע, וְהַיְינוּ שֶׁגַּם אַחַר שֶׁאָנוּ זוֹכִים לַעֲשׂוֹת מִצְוֹות וְלַעֲסוֹק בַּתּוֹרָה, מִכָּל מָקוֹם תָּמִיד צָרִיךְ לִרְאוֹת וּלְדַמּוֹת בְּמַחְשַׁבְתֵּנוּ כְּאִלּוּ עֲדַיִין לֹא עָשִׂינוּ כְּלוּם, וּצְרִיכִים מִיָּד לְהִשְׁתּוֹקֵק לַעֲשׂוֹת כְּמַתְחִילָה. וְזֶהוּ בְּחִינַת ׳וְאַחֲרֵי מִצְוֹותֶיךָ תִּרְדּוֹף נַפְשִׁי׳, הַיְינוּ שֶׁגַּם אַחֲרֵי עֲשִׂיַּית הַמִּצְוֹות, גַּם כֵּן עֲדַיִין ׳תִּרְדּוֹף נַפְשִׁי׳ וְתִשְׁתּוֹקֵק לַעֲשׂוֹתָם מֵחָדָשׁ, וְעִנְיָן זֶה הוּא יְסוֹד גָּדוֹל בַּעֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם. וּמָצִינוּ עִנְיָן זֶה בְּקַבָּלַת הַתּוֹרָה, בַּמֶּה שֶׁאָמְרוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל ׳נַעֲשֶׂה וְנִשְׁמַע׳, שֶׁבָּזֶה הִכְרִיזוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל, שֶׁגַּם אַחַר שֶׁנַּעֲשֶׂה וּנְקַיֵּים אֶת מִצְוֹות הַתּוֹרָה, אָנוּ מוּכָנִים לִשְׁמוֹעַ תָּמִיד מֵחָדָשׁ, כְּאִילּוּ עֲדַיִין לֹא עָשִׂינוּ הַמִּצְוֹות כְּלָל.
  1. Shemos 24:7. ↩
In shortA fundamental principle of avodas Hashem: even after doing mitzvos, feel you have done nothing yet and long to begin anew.
4The same must be true of the mitzvah of teshuvah. Even after we are privileged to repent, we must know that our teshuvah is not yet complete, and we must go back and do teshuvah anew. This, we may say, is what Chazal meant by “The early pious ones were in teshuvah all their days.”6 They always imagined that they had not yet done teshuvah as it should be done. Living this way is truly “a difficult service in the Beis HaMikdash,”7 the hardest work of all. For after a person has begun and done teshuvah, the yetzer hara makes it look to him as though he has already fulfilled his obligation and has nothing left to repent of.
וּכְמוֹ כֵּן צָרִיךְ לִהְיוֹת בְּעִנְיַן מִצְוַות הַתְּשׁוּבָה, שֶׁגַּם אַחַר שֶׁזּוֹכִים לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה, צְרִיכִים לָדַעַת שֶׁלֹּא עָשִׂינוּ תְּשׁוּבָה בִּשְׁלֵימוּת, וּצְרִיכִים לַחֲזוֹר וְלַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה מֵחָדָשׁ. וְיֵשׁ לוֹמַר שֶׁזּוֹ הִיא הַכַּוָּונָה בְּמַאֲמַר חז״ל (כריתות כה, א) חֲסִידִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים כָּל יְמֵיהֶם הָיוּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה, הַיְינוּ כִּי תָּמִיד דִּימּוּ בְּמַחְשַׁבְתָּם שֶׁעוֹד לֹא עָשׂוּ תְּשׁוּבָה כָּרָאוּי לַעֲשׂוֹת. אָכֵן זֶהוּ מַמָּשׁ עֲבוֹדָה קָשֶׁה שֶׁבַּמִּקְדָּשׁ, כֵּיוָן שֶׁאַחַר שֶׁהִתְחִיל הָאָדָם וְעָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה, מַרְאֶה הַיֵּצֶר לְעֵינָיו כְּאִילּוּ כְּבָר הִשְׁלִים חוֹבָתוֹ, וְשׁוּב אֵין לוֹ עַל מָה לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה עוֹד.
  1. Kerisos 25a. ↩
  2. Menachos 11a. Chazal use this phrase for kemitzah, the taking of a fistful of flour from a meal offering, one of the hardest services in the Beis HaMikdash. It became a saying for any very demanding service. ↩
In shortTeshuvah too must be renewed again and again, the hardest work of all, because the yetzer hara persuades a person that he has finished.
5Here, then, is the meaning of the Midrash we cited, that Reuven said “Where can I go?” with the sin in the episode of Bilhah. Reuven was not there at the sale, because he was busy with his sackcloth and fasting over the episode of Bilhah, as Chazal said. When he came back to the pit afterward and saw that the boy was gone, he thought that he was to blame: it had happened because he had gone off to his sackcloth and fasting. Had he been with his brothers, he would surely have stopped them, since he was the firstborn and they would have listened to him. He reasoned that if his engaging in teshuvah had brought about such a transgression, this proved that his teshuvah was not complete, for complete teshuvah would not have led to any sin at all. From this he came to recognize and understand that one must repent of the teshuvah itself, each time anew. That is why he said, “Where can I go with the sin in the episode of Bilhah?” And so he went back and did teshuvah once again.
וְזֶהוּ כַּוָּונַת הַמִּדְרָשׁ הַנִּזְכָּר, שֶׁאָמַר רְאוּבֵן ״אָנָה אֲנִי בָא״ בְּחֵטְא שֶׁל מַעֲשֵׂה בִּלְהָה. דְּהִנֵּה בִּשְׁעַת הַמְּכִירָה, לֹא הָיָה רְאוּבֵן שָׁם, כֵּיוָן שֶׁהָיָה עָסוּק בְּשַׂקּוֹ וּבְתַעֲנִיתוֹ עַל מַעֲשֵׂה בִּלְהָה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ רז״ל, וּכְשֶׁחָזַר לְאַחַר מִכֵּן לַבּוֹר וְרָאָה שֶׁהַיֶּלֶד אֵינֶנּוּ, חָשַׁב בְּעַצְמוֹ כִּי הוּא אָשֵׁם בַּדָּבָר, דְּמֵחֲמַת שֶׁהָלַךְ לְשַׂקּוֹ וְתַעֲנִיתוֹ נִגְרַם כָּזֹאת, כִּי בְּאִם הָיָה הוּא עִמָּהֶם וַדַּאי הָיָה מוֹנֵעַ הַדָּבָר מֵהֶם, כִּי הוּא הַבְּכוֹר וְהָיוּ שׁוֹמְעִים לִדְבָרָיו. וְחָשַׁב בְּדַעְתּוֹ, דְּאִם עַל יְדֵי שֶׁעָסַק בִּתְשׁוּבָה נִגְרַם עֲבֵירָה כָּזֹאת, מִזֶּה מוּכָח שֶׁלֹּא הָיְתָה תְּשׁוּבָתוֹ בִּשְׁלֵימוּת, כֵּיוָן שֶׁאִם הָיְתָה הַתְּשׁוּבָה בִּשְׁלֵימוּת לֹא הָיָה נִסְבָּב עַל יָדָהּ שׁוּם חֵטְא. וּמִזֶּה בָּא לְהַכָּרָה וַהֲבָנָה שֶׁעַל הַתְּשׁוּבָה עַצְמָהּ יֵשׁ לָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה כָּל פַּעַם מֵחָדָשׁ, לְכָךְ אָמַר אָנָה אֲנִי בָא בְּחֵטְא שֶׁל מַעֲשֵׂה בִּלְהָה, וְעַל כֵּן חָזַר וְעָשָׂה עוֹד הַפַּעַם תְּשׁוּבָה.
In shortSeeing that his absence while repenting let Yosef be sold, Reuven concluded his teshuvah for Bilhah was incomplete, and repented again.
6This also explains what the Holy One, blessed be He, said to him: “Never has a man sinned before Me and done teshuvah.” No one had ever done teshuvah as completely as Reuven. He understood that even the teshuvah itself must be examined to see whether it was done properly, and he knew that one must always go back and do teshuvah anew. That is “you have opened with teshuvah”: you began once again to repent. And that is “first”: in your own mind you saw yourself as though you were standing at the very beginning of the work of teshuvah.
וּבָזֶה מוּבָן מַה שֶּׁאָמַר לוֹ הקב״ה, ׳מֵעוֹלָם לֹא חָטָא אָדָם לְפָנַי וְעָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה׳, הַיְינוּ שֶׁלֹּא הָיָה אָדָם שֶׁעָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה בִּשְׁלֵימוּת כָּמוֹךָ, לְהָבִין וּלְהַשְׂכִּיל הָעִנְיָן הַזֶּה שֶׁגַּם עַל הַתְּשׁוּבָה עַצְמָהּ יֵשׁ לִבְדּוֹק אִם הָיְתָה כָּרָאוּי, וּלְדַעַת שֶׁתָּמִיד צְרִיכִים לַחֲזוֹר וְלַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה מֵחָדָשׁ. וְזֶהוּ ׳אַתָּה פָּתַחְתָּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה׳, הַיְינוּ שֶׁהִתְחַלְתָּ עוֹד הַפַּעַם לַחֲזוֹר בִּתְשׁוּבָה, וְזֶהוּ ׳תְּחִילָּה׳, שֶׁרָאִיתָ בְּדַעְתְּךָ כְּאִילּוּ אַתָּה עוֹמֵד בְּהַתְחָלַת עֲבוֹדַת הַתְּשׁוּבָה.
In shortNo one had repented like Reuven: he examined his own teshuvah, began it again, and saw himself standing at its very beginning.
7Indeed, no one before him had ever done teshuvah of this kind. This answers our first question, about Kayin and Adam HaRishon. They had repented, but they did not grasp this point: to worry and check whether perhaps their teshuvah was not complete, and to go back each time and repent anew, as if from the beginning. It answers our second question too. This is the teshuvah that Hoshea urged on Israel, “Return, Yisrael, unto Hashem your God”: that it repent completely, until nothing stands between Israel and its Father in Heaven and it comes all the way “unto Hashem your God.” This teshuvah comes from the power of Reuven, who went back and repented once again as if from the beginning, and so brought this power of teshuvah into the world and made it shine.
וְאָכֵן תְּשׁוּבָה בְּאוֹפֶן כָּזֶה, מֵעוֹלָם לֹא הָיָה אָדָם שֶׁעָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה לְפָנָיו, דְּאָמְנָם קַיִן וְאָדָם הָרִאשׁוֹן כְּבָר עָשׂוּ תְּשׁוּבָה, אֲבָל לֹא הֵבִינוּ בְּדַעְתָּם עִנְיָן זֶה, לַחְשׁוֹשׁ וְלִבְדּוֹק פֶּן לֹא עָשׂוּ תְּשׁוּבָה בִּשְׁלֵימוּת, וְלַחֲזוֹר וְלַעֲשׂוֹת כָּל פַּעַם תְּשׁוּבָה מֵחָדָשׁ כַּמַּתְחִילָה. וְעַל זֹאת הַתְּשׁוּבָה הָיָה הוֹשֵׁעַ מַזְהִיר לְיִשְׂרָאֵל ״שׁוּבָה יִשְׂרָאֵל עַד ה׳ אֱלֹקֶיךָ״, שֶׁיַּעֲשׂוּ תְּשׁוּבָה בִּשְׁלֵימוּת, עַד שֶׁלֹּא תִּהְיֶה מְחִיצָה מַבְדֶּלֶת בֵּין יִשְׂרָאֵל לַאֲבִיהֶם שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, שֶׁיָּבוֹאוּ לִבְחִינַת ״עַד ה׳ אֱלֹקֶיךָ״. וּתְשׁוּבָה זֹאת בָּאָה מִכּוֹחוֹ שֶׁל רְאוּבֵן, שֶׁחָזַר וְעָשָׂה עוֹד הַפַּעַם תְּשׁוּבָה כַּמַּתְחִילָה, וְחִידֵּשׁ וְהֵאִיר כֹּחַ זֶה שֶׁל הַתְּשׁוּבָה.
In shortAdam and Kayin never renewed their repentance; Hoshea's call to return “unto Hashem” draws on the power Reuven brought into the world.
8[We can also explain it another way.8 My holy ancestor, the Rebbe of Shidlovtza, zt"l, spoke on Hashem's words to Kayin: “And He said, ‘What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood cries out to Me from the ground.’”9 At first glance this is hard to understand. “The whole earth is full of His glory,”10 and before the Holy One, blessed be He, all hidden things are revealed. Why, then, did He need to ask Kayin, “What have you done?” The answer is a rule: when a person sins, this would seem to be a sign that he had sinned before, causing some blemish through a small sin, and that the small sin brought him to this one. For, as is known, “one transgression drags along another.”11 That is why Hashem asked Kayin, “What have you done?” He meant: what sin did you commit earlier, that brought you to sin so gravely?]
*[עוֹד אֶפְשָׁר לְפָרֵשׁ בְּאוֹפֶן אַחֵר, דְּהִנֵּה כ״ק זְקֵנִי הרה״ק משידלובצא זצללה״ה אָמַר עַל הַפָּסוּק בְּפָרָשַׁת בְּרֵאשִׁית (ד, י) ״וַיֹּאמֶר מֶה עָשִׂיתָ קוֹל דְּמֵי אָחִיךָ צוֹעֲקִים אֵלַי מִן הָאֲדָמָה״. וְלִכְאוֹרָה אֵינוֹ מוּבָן, דַּהֲלֹא הקב״ה מְלֹא כָל הָאָרֶץ כְּבוֹדוֹ, וּלְפָנָיו נִגְלוּ כָּל תַּעֲלוּמוֹת, וְאִם כֵּן מַדּוּעַ הָיָה צָרִיךְ לִשְׁאוֹל לְקַיִן ׳מֶה עָשִׂיתָ׳. אֶלָּא דְּהַכְּלָל הוּא, כִּי בְּאִם אָדָם חוֹטֵא, מוּכָח מִזֶּה לִכְאוֹרָה שֶׁכְּבָר חָטָא וּפָגַם מִקּוֹדֶם בְּאֵיזֶה חֵטְא קָטָן, שֶׁהוּא גָּרַם לוֹ הַחֵטְא הַזֶּה, כַּיָּדוּעַ שֶׁעֲבֵירָה גּוֹרֶרֶת עֲבֵירָה (אבות ד, ב). וְזֶהוּ שֶׁשְּׁאָלוֹ הקב״ה ׳מֶה עָשִׂיתָ׳, הַיְינוּ אֵיזֶה חֵטְא עָשִׂיתָ מִקּוֹדֶם לָכֵן, אֲשֶׁר הוּא הֱבִיאֲךָ לַחֲטוֹא בְּחֵטְא גָּדוֹל כָּזֶה.
  1. The sefer's note: An addition from elsewhere. ↩
  2. Bereishis 4:10. ↩
  3. Yeshayahu 6:3. ↩
  4. Avos 4:2. ↩
In shortThe Rebbe of Shidlovtza taught that Hashem asked Kayin “What have you done?” to ask which earlier, smaller sin had led him to murder.
9[We can learn from his words that when a person repents of a sin, it is not enough to repent of that sin alone. He must also repent of the first blemish, the root of the sin, and then it counts as complete teshuvah.]
וְיֵשׁ לִלְמוֹד מִדְּבָרָיו, דְּכַאֲשֶׁר עוֹשִׂים תְּשׁוּבָה עַל הַחֵטְא, לֹא דַּי לָשׁוּב עַל זֶה הַחֵטְא בִּלְבַד, אֶלָּא צְרִיכִים לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה גַּם עַל הַפְּגָם הָרִאשׁוֹן, שֶׁהוּא שׁוֹרֶשׁ הַחֵטְא, וְאָז יֵחָשֵׁב זֹאת לִתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵימָה.
In shortComplete teshuvah must reach not only the sin itself but also the first blemish that was its root.
10[This lets us understand the Midrash, “Never has a man sinned before Me and done teshuvah.” After Reuven sinned and came to repent, he sought to repent of and repair even the first blemish, and so he did teshuvah for the root of his sin as well. That is “you have opened with teshuvah first”: you repented also of the first blemish, which is the “first,” the root of this sin. Reuven was the first to grasp that one must do teshuvah even for the root of the sin.] [Afterward I saw something like this in the sefer Yismach Yisrael.12]
וְזֶה הַפֵּירוּשׁ בַּמִּדְרָשׁ, מֵעוֹלָם לֹא חָטָא אָדָם לְפָנַי וְעָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה, כִּי רְאוּבֵן אַחַר שֶׁחָטָא וּבָא לָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה, חִיפֵּשׁ לָשׁוּב וּלְתַקֵּן אַף הַפְּגָם הָרִאשׁוֹן, וְעָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה גַּם עַל שׁוֹרֶשׁ חֶטְאוֹ. וְזֶהוּ ׳אַתָּה פָּתַחְתָּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה תְּחִילָּה׳, הַיְינוּ שֶׁשַּׁבְתָּ גַּם עַל הַפְּגָם הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁהוּא בְּחִינַת ׳תְּחִילָּה׳ וְשׁוֹרֶשׁ לְחֵטְא זֶה. וּרְאוּבֵן הָיָה הָרִאשׁוֹן אֲשֶׁר הִשְׂכִּיל לְהָבִין עִנְיָן זֶה, שֶׁיֵּשׁ לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה אַף עַל שׁוֹרֶשׁ הַחֵטְא. [אַחֲרֵי זֶה רָאִיתִי (כעין) זֶה בְּסֵפֶר יְשַׂמַּח יִשְׂרָאֵל (אות ב)].
  1. Yismach Yisrael, §2. ↩
In shortReuven was the first to repent of the root of his sin, the “first” blemish; so he “opened with teshuvah first.”
11[The main way to come to recognize the root of the sin and repair it is through Torah study. As Chazal said of the yetzer hara, “If this repulsive one meets you, drag him to the beis midrash,” the house of study.13 This is especially so in the days of Chanukah, may they come upon us for good, for they correspond to “A mitzvah is a lamp, and Torah is light.”14]
וְהָעֵצָה הָעִקָּרִית לָזֶה, לָבוֹא לְהַכִּיר שׁוֹרֶשׁ הַחֵטְא וּלְתַקְּנוֹ, הוּא עַל יְדֵי לִימּוּד הַתּוֹרָה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ ז״ל ׳אִם פָּגַע בְּךָ מְנֻוָּול זֶה מָשְׁכֵהוּ לְבֵית הַמִּדְרָשׁ׳ (קידושין ל, א), וּבְיִחוּד בִּימֵי חֲנוּכָּה הַבָּאִים עָלֵינוּ לְטוֹבָה, שֶׁהֵם בְּחִינַת ״נֵר מִצְוָה וְתוֹרָה אוֹר״ (משלי ו, כג)].
  1. Kiddushin 30b (the sefer has 30a). ↩
  2. Mishlei 6:23. ↩
In shortTorah study is the main way to see and repair sin's root, above all in the days of Chanukah, the days of Torah's light.
12As is known, these days, until Zos Chanukah, the last day of Chanukah, are still a continuation of the teshuvah season of Elul and Tishrei. May it be His will that we be granted complete teshuvah. Amen.
וְנוֹדַע שֶׁהַיָּמִים הָאֵלּוּ עַד זֹאת חֲנוּכָּה, הֵם עֲדַיִין הֶמְשֵׁךְ זְמַנֵּי הַתְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁל אֱלוּל וְתִשְׁרֵי, יְהִי רָצוֹן שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לִתְשׁוּבָה בִּשְׁלֵימוּת, אָמֵן:
In shortThe Rebbe prays that we be granted complete teshuvah in these days until Zos Chanukah, still part of the teshuvah season.
Takeaway

After we repent, the yetzer hara whispers that the work is done, but Reuven looked honestly at his teshuvah, saw it was not yet whole, and began again as if standing at the very start. We too should keep renewing our teshuvah and look beneath each failing for the first small blemish at its root. The way to see those roots is Torah study, and the days until Zos Chanukah are still a time for complete teshuvah.

Learn this in the merit of Rav Dovid Matisyohu Rabinowitz. His yahrzeit and life ›

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