The Fervor of Beginning: Rising Toward Eternal Life

5Or we may say that Rashi's comment on this verse, that at a hundred Sarah was like twenty and at twenty like seven, hints at the ways of Hashem, to teach them to a person. There are two levels in the ways people go. In his youth a person applies himself to his learning and studies diligently, and learning is called “beauty,” for it is the beauty of the Creator, blessed be He. When he comes into his years, from twenty on, his mind grows strong enough to know Hashem. Then he begins to search his deeds and to look at them, whether they are being done properly, truly for Hashem's honor. He sees and understands for himself that in all the Torah he has learned and the mitzvos he has done until now he has not fulfilled his duty at all. He understands that he fell short and sinned in them: he learned for some ulterior motive, or to take pride, or in some other way for his own pleasure. Then the man trembles and regrets the past, and he resolves firmly to repair himself in all his deeds and in his Torah study, so that all of it will be equally good, for the sake of His exalted Name and not for his own pleasure.

6The holy sefer Chovos HaLevavos says, “There is no piety like its beginning,” for everything is done at its very first start with eagerness and great resolve, with every possible effort. This is what Rashi meant by “At a hundred she was like twenty in regard to sin.” At twenty it is a person's way to search his deeds and find in them sins, ways he fell short in serving Hashem, and he takes up this path with great strength, because it is his very first beginning. As Sarah was at twenty, so she was at a hundred: on this same level. “And at twenty like seven in beauty” follows the same pattern: in learning too, a person must take hold of it strongly and toil in Hashem's holy Torah as he did in his youth, in his tender years. A tzaddik who conducts himself this way is privileged to attain eternal life. That is “Vayihyu, And the life of Sarah was”: vayihyu (ויהיו), “was,” is a word of being, like the Name Havayah (הוי״ה), Hashem's Name of being; it speaks of binding to eternal life. “The years of the life of Sarah,” on which Rashi comments, “all of them equally good,”¹ hints that once the tzaddik has reached this level, everything is equally good for him.

7aA person must strengthen himself still more to sanctify himself in his eating and drinking, in holiness and purity. Through this he brings out the holy sparks, the fragments of holiness scattered in the world, and through this he is privileged to attain eternal life. This is what Avraham Avinu told the angels: “And recline under the tree”: under the Tree of Life. Through this, “and I will fetch a morsel of bread”:² through eating, in the holiness we have described.

7bThis is the meaning of “And Hashem God said, ‘Behold, the man … and now, lest he put forth his hand and take also from the Tree of Life, and eat, and live forever.’”³ We may explain it this way. Hashem, blessed be He, in His great mercy desires teshuvah, that a person repair what he has damaged. Hashem said “and now”: now that Adam HaRishon has sinned, by what will he repair his sin? Here pen, “lest,” means “perhaps”: perhaps he will have a remedy, that he put forth his hand to take and grasp the Tree of Life through eating, bringing out holy sparks by eating in holiness. That is “and eat, and live forever”: through eating he will have a hold on eternal life. Therefore “Hashem sent him out of the Garden of Eden, to work the ground,”⁴ for the World to Come has no eating or drinking; only in this world can a person bring about repair by bringing out the holy sparks. And this tzaddik, who conducts himself in holiness in Torah, in eating and drinking and in all his deeds, draws flows of chassadim, kindnesses, down to the world.

8That is “And Avraham was old, coming into days.” Zaken, “old,” is zeh kanah chochmah, “this one has acquired wisdom.”⁵ And he came to the level of “days,” to draw down flows of kindness, which are called “days,” in the spirit of “By day Hashem commands His kindness.”⁶ “And Hashem blessed Avraham bakol, with everything”: a tzaddik who draws down blessing must direct his whole intention to the whole of Israel, and not be concerned for himself at all, as if he were not in the world. Hashem, blessed be He, watches over such a tzaddik and blesses him within the whole of Israel, even though he does not watch over himself. That is “Hashem blessed … bakol”: within kol, the whole of Israel.

9The complete tzaddik we have described walks in the open. But one who is not yet on that level must “walk modestly,” hatznea lechet, his service hidden,⁷ to repair everything within him. That is “And he said to his servant, the elder of his house”:⁸ the complete tzaddik speaks to the other tzaddik, the one who is not yet on this level. He is only like a servant in it, and must still walk hidden to repair his inner self; that is “the elder of his house,” the house within. “Who ruled over all that he had”: at least he is on this level, that he rules over the trait of envy and does not envy his fellow; he does not covet or crave what others own. This is the main thing for whoever wants to walk in the ways of Hashem: to drive envy and the craving for money out of his heart, for they are the chief obstacle to the service of the Creator. That is “who ruled over all that he had”: what he has is enough for him, and he does not covet what belongs to others. And the complete tzaddik, who wants to bring him to a great level too, says to him, “Place your hand, please, under my thigh”: he should bind himself to him. This is what “my thigh” hints at, for the thigh is called Yesod, foundation, the sefirah that, as we know, is the bond.

10This is what is said of Yaakov Avinu: “The sun shone for him as he passed Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh.”⁹ The sun is great light and holiness, and it shone and gave light to him as he passed Penuel. Penuel (פנואל) is read panu El (פנו אל), “they cleared God away,” put Him out of mind: it is the state of a person who lets his mind stray from holiness. Then at once “he was limping on his thigh”: he has a defect in the thigh. But “as he passed Penuel,” once he has left that state behind and never lets his mind stray from holiness at all, then “the sun shone for him.”

11So a person must bind himself to complete tzaddikim, in their holiness and their light, and guard himself never to let God, El, be cleared from his mind, and sanctify himself in all his middos, his traits, as we have said. May Hashem help us to serve Him in truth, and may Hashem be with us as He was with our fathers.¹⁰ Amen, may it be His will.