Rav Nochum’s Late Chanukah Candles

Rav Ruderman’s special consideration for his Rebbetzin had its roots in something he learned from the Chofetz Chaim, an account of a Chanukah night when the Chofetz Chaim was visiting Rav Nochum of Horodna. Hours passed and Rav Nochum still had not lit the menorah. Finally, very late at night, when the streets had long been empty, Rav Nochum’s wife came home. Only then did he light, long after the time set by halacha.

The Chofetz Chaim could not hold back his curiosity and asked why. Rav Nochum answered that halacha says if one has money for only one, ner Shabbos comes before ner Chanukah because of sholom bayis. His wife, he said, was moser nefesh so that he could give his life to Torah and avodas Hashem, and she enjoyed being there when the menorah was lit. That made it his duty to wait for her and give up lighting at the proper time.

Rav Ruderman’s talmidim saw him follow this lesson many times. At Agudah conventions, Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky’s address after Shalosh Seudos kept the audience spellbound until long after Shabbos ended. Rav Ruderman would regularly step out partway through to phone his Rebbetzin. He always apologized to Rav Yaakov, and the two reminded each other of the story of Rav Nochum.