The Inkwell and the Cream

A talmid came to the Rosh Yeshiva’s house before joining the yeshiva, to be tested. In the middle of the conversation he knocked over an inkwell, leaving a stain on the sofa that would never come out. The talmid did not know where to look. Rav Ruderman went on speaking as if nothing had happened, while quietly trying to hide the mark so the young man would feel better. When he saw that this was not helping, he assured the talmid that it was nothing.

Words alone are often just a polite formula, and a host’s face usually shows what he really feels. “But this time,” the talmid said, “the Rosh Yeshiva wisely made me believe that truly nothing was wrong.” A damaged sofa meant nothing next to a person’s pain.

More than thirty years later the same talmid visited again. Drinks were served, and again there was an accident. This time a cup of cream spilled on the Rosh Yeshiva’s trousers. The reaction was identical. The conversation continued smoothly, the Rosh Yeshiva simply moved his legs beneath the table, and again he persuaded the talmid that there was nothing to worry about.